Lessons From Year Two

"You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be." 

-Marianne Williamson

These past two semesters have been a whirlwind, and I can't believe I am already home for the summer. I blinked and my sophomore year was over; now my clothes are laying on my bedroom floor waiting to be unpacked once again.

This year has definitely been packed with some of the best times, and a few I hope I never have to experience again. I learned a few lessons along the way, and being the sterotypical twenty-something blogger that I am, I just had to share them. 

Dogs are a part of the family. 

During the fall semester, my mom called me and told me that our sweet Macie had hurt her back. She was jumping around just as she always did, but she had landed on her leg wrong and she had a slipped disk in her spine. We were hopeful that medication would make the swelling go down, but after weeks of no improvement my family had to make the agonizing decision to put her down. Our house hasn't been the same since. She didn't come to greet me when I unpacked my car. She no longer lays on my feet to keep them warm. She doesn't beg impatiently at my feet. 

I didn't realize how much space such a small little puppy could occupy in my heart. 

Roommates are angels in disguise.  

This year has been crazy. Between stressors of school, cheerleading, and eating disorders, there has been no shortage of tears within the walls of Galloway 138. My roommate has taken it all like a champ though. I have no idea what I would have done without her. All I can do is thank her for putting up with me and all my antics. She's the real MVP. 

From post-practice ranting sessions, to 15 minute meals in the caf, to ResLife week, to simultaneously yelling at our computers during intense study sessions... it has all happened this year. I wouldn't have wanted to experience my sophomore year with anyone else. I can't wait to see what

our junior year has in store for us.  

Speaking the truth will set you free.  

I did not speak about my eating disorder for a long time. It was only the beginning of this year that I started this blog and began writing my story. While I am a very private person, there is most definitely something freeing about sharing my journey and the ups and downs recovery has brought me. 

While I haven't shared every little detail, what little I have shared has lifted an immense weight off of my shoulders. I no longer feel like I am living a double life, and I no longer worry about people finding out about my eating disorder. I have embraced the fact that it is part of my story, and if people find out, it is simply a larger platform for me to advocate from. 

Actions have consequences 

It was during the spring semester that I began seeing a counselor on campus. It was meant as a way to improve accountability on a campus where I otherwise had little. I was honest with her about the level of restricting that was happening, because I was convinced there was nothing she could do to make me eat more. 

I was wrong. 

I do not want to go into details right now, but during our last session together, my bubble was burst. I learned firsthand that I cannot engage in behaviors and expect people to watch without appropriate actions being taken. The very thing that I went to the counselor to prevent is exactly what ended up happening. Actions certainly have consequences. I can only hope that I learn from this experience. 

I am loved. 

This most recent round of treatment and the creation of this blog has made me realize that I am loved. My parents love me; they would do anything to make sure I am happy and healthy. My friends love me; they have sent me notes of encouragement and support. My family loves me; they want to see me succeed whether it is in recovery, in school, or in life. 

The most important thing I have learned, though, is that my God loves me. It is certainly something that has been hard for me to accept, but that doesn't make it any less true. I am the daughter of the Almighty King and every inch of me was created perfectly in His image.

It has been hectic, but this year has opened my eyes in so many different ways. Whatever the lesson I am so glad I got to experience it all at MVNU. It is my home and I wouldn't have it any other way. My friends have stuck by me and my professors have constantly encouraged me along each stop in this marathon I've been running. I am so thankful for each and every person whose path has crossed mine and for everyone who has spoken into my life. 

xoxo, 

jkd