It's Official...

"A woman is like a tea bag. You'll never know how strong it is until it's in hot water." -Eleanor Roosevelt 

This morning began as every day before it has. My alarm went off and I trudged groggily down the stairs to retrieve a steaming cup of coffee. I then hurried upstairs and returned to the warm solace of my bedroom where I readied myself for the day ahead.  

I strolled through the empty halls of the high school and patiently waited for Mrs. B to unlock her room. I was looking forward to another routine day grading papers and observing the magic that is a high school classroom.

I was perfectly content grading "In Cold Blood" quizzes and unit tests for most of the morning. Nothing spectacular had happened, but I was happy to be volunteering my time helping out a teacher that has been so important in my life. 

It was then, at 10:16 a.m., that the email I had been praying for arrived. 

"Dr. Browning contacted me to say that you are cleared to return for spring semester." 

I nearly jumped out of my chair as a flood of excitement consumed me. I scurried into the hallway and immediately called my mom. "I'm going back to school!" I laughed through the joyous tears that streamed down my cheeks. A smile stretched across my face as I felt a huge weight crumble from my shoulders. 

I returned to the classroom,  barely able to contain my euphoria, and sat quietly grading papers for the next hour, texting a simple "I'M BACK IN" to my dad. Emojis were obviously included. 

The 5B lunch bell rang, and that was my cue to finish up. Before leaving the high school, though, I had to make one stop. I slid through the rush of students heading toward the cafeteria, grateful I was tiny, and ecstatic I no longer had to push my way through these masses on a daily basis. 

I reentered Mrs. B's warm, inviting classroom unable to harbor the tremendous news for much longer. 

Aside from my parents, she is one of the only others who has known the details and happenings of the dramatic saga that has become the past three months. It has been such a blessing to have someone involved who is able to be objective, yet is so invested in my future. She has been a constant source of support and encouragement, and I couldn't be more grateful. 

As I continued on with my day, it was impossible for me to shed my smile. For the first time in weeks I didn't feel frantic. I didn't feel like time was running out. I didn't feel like my hopes of returning to school were slipping away. 

I was in. 

It was only when I finally arrived home that the reality of the situation hit me in full force. I stepped through the doorway to feel a rush of warm air hit my face and a wave of exhaustion wash over my body. 

I have been worried about my return to school since the day I was told to take a leave of absence, but I have been frantic, fretting my return since the beginning of November. It was only then I was informed of the re-admission process. With Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks thrown in the mix, it gave me very few working days to check off the laundry list of requirements I would need to fulfill in order to step foot on campus.

The past several weeks have kept me operating on stress and adrenaline. I've kept my head down and focused on accomplishing everything on my "Return to MVNU checklist." Today it all converged and I was finally able to take a breath, and that is when it all finally caught up with me. 

It has been the most wonderful kind of exhaustion though. I am going back to school. I am returning to my second home. I am returning to a place filled with friends, with family, the place that will unlock the key to my future.

I could not have asked for a more perfect birthday and Christmas present.

God is so good.

xoxo,
jkd