2.03 & 2.04

"Look around at the people God has placed in your life. They aren't there by accident." 

February 3, 2015

I have mixed feelings about returning to class. Today was the first day of the spring semester, and I was able to ease into it with only one class. Because I am getting into my major / minor classes, I am forming closer relationships with my professors. Basically, that means that three of my four professors knows that I was in treatment for an eating disorder... twice.

Today, however, was the first time sitting through a class with a professor after I returned from treatment. I can only hope that the rest of the week goes smoother than today did. It is emotionally exhausting and anxiety provoking to wonder what thoughts are going through their heads. I'm a worrier, and I'm pretty sure my mind didn't stop once the entire hour.

After class I went to visit my academic advisor and the rest of the psychology department.  There is something so refreshing about talking to someone who believes in me. It's almost like I'm a different person. I have confidence. I have a spring in my step. If someone else believes in me, there is no reason for me not to believe in myself.

February 4, 2015

Today went a little smoother than yesterday did. It seems the only oddity is that the professors now know my name. It still didn't change the fact that I felt like I had three heads, though. Going to treatment is like 79. 85% of my story, and I feel so exposed knowing that people I will interact with on a daily basis for the next two and a half years know so much.

Despite how uncomfortable I feel, though, it is so wonderful to know how invested my professors are in my health and well being... on top of my academic success. (Reason #243158286394 why I absolutely love my school.)

I met with my advisor to discuss what to do if I do start to get overwhelmed by the semester. I can honestly say that I have never left her office with a frown on my face. I am so thankful for everything she has done to help me with these awkward transitions. Today was no exception.

 She assured me it would not be the end of the world if I had to drop a few credit hours and to come see her if I started feeling overwhelmed. My psych faculty is the best.

Though I am still a little apprehensive about being back on campus, it couldn't be more clear that I am surrounded by a group of people who only want great things for me... especially when those great things involve prioritizing my physical and mental health.

 xoxo,
jkd