Quiet Your Heart

"The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear." -Lao Tzu

I am an introvert. 

To say I am an introvert doesn't even begin to cover it, though. I am painfully, painfully shy. In high school I could go a full eight hours without saying a word to anyone. It wasn't that I had nothing to say, it was simply that I did not feel the need to fill every silence with superfluous noise. I am an observer rather than a speaker; I take in what is happening around me and internally process it. I am a quiet girl with a loud mind. Consequently, my biggest trouble comes not in quieting my mouth but in quieting my heart. 

Since learning that I would not return to school this fall, my mind has been running ceaselessly. I am constantly considering what I should be doing to prepare for next semester, I am constantly worrying about what effect this absence will have on my future, and I am constantly reevaluating all major decisions I have made in the recent past. 

But the quieter I become, the more I am able to hear. 

Today, for example, the junior English classes were beginning a new unit learning about the Puritans. As a high school student I would have been taking notes furiously, perhaps apathetic about the subject-matter, trying to remember every last detail so that I would undoubtedly ace the test. Today as I graded papers, though, I was able to look beyond the textbook and take to heart a deeper wisdom that was all too applicable  to my own life. 

After reading Verses Upon the Burning of our House by Anne Bradstreet students analyzed the poem and how the author's Puritan viewpoint influenced her writing. It was evident throughout, that although her house had just burned to the ground, Anne Bradstreet was able to find God amongst the ashes and place her hope in Him. She gave all the glory to God and believed that it was all part of His bigger plan. Surely it was devastating at the time, but she knew that He had better days aligned for her. 

I couldn't help but feel a nudge at my heart as the lesson was being taught. You see, last week was the first week of classes, and this weekend was my first to be spent at home. Without a packed schedule, the emptiness left room for sorrow, frustration, and anxiety to creep in to my heart and question why school had been taken from me. 

But this morning God was there to remind me that He is continuously speaking, I simply need to quiet my heart and listen. Through the lesson plans of an English teacher He reminded me that though situations may seem devastating, He has a grander plan for all of it. Though today may be tough, He has better days awaiting me. 

xoxo, 

jkd

** As of right now I plan on trying to post once a week. Because of time and content I do not know if that will always be possible, but you can tentatively plan on seeing a post from me every Tuesday or Wednesday