Yet the Sun Still Shines

"God is in the business of giving moments of sunlight, warmth, and joy during during the storms as well as speaking a final 'peace' to them." -Carole Mayhall 

Normally I do not make a habit of posting more than once or twice a month, I never find that I have too much to say beyond a monthly post.For the past week, however, my mind has been cluttered and these updates seem to be writing themselves.

Since last Wednesday I have been inundated with positive support, prayers, and kind messages from friends and family alike, and I could not be more grateful. My intention was simply to update everyone on what would be happening this semester with no expectations regarding reactions. I would just like to thank everyone I have spoken to (and even those of you I have not spoken to) for your continued love and support. It truly does leave me speechless. I suppose that is why I write instead.

With all the feedback I have received there is one question that seems to be on everyone's mind. "How do you feel about taking a semester off?"

On Tuesday evening when I got the news that I would not be returning to school, I was devastated. I cried, I sobbed, I hyperventilated...my emotions were certainly running rampant. Since then, though, I have had time to cool down, time to survey the situation, and time to take a breath...and I have found am at peace.

I'm not bitter, I'm not angry.

I am a bit frustrated with how my treatment team handled the whole situation, it is my belief that they shared much too much information with the school, thereby causing my mental state to be questioned more than it should have been.

But it is what it is.

God has seen me through this and He has not only calmed the storm, but He has given me a glimpse of sunshine in the midst of it.

I will not be on campus this semester, but that does not mean I will be sitting at home sulking. During the meeting it was strongly suggested that I get involved in my community to try and keep my mind off the fact that I will not be in Mount Vernon, so that is exactly what I plan on doing.

I have been given the opportunity to return to my high school and help out two of my favorite teachers. These women meant so much to me my sophomore, junior, and senior years, to return and help them out means the world to me. They have continuously spoken words of care and wisdom into my life and I feel so blessed that I get to spend the next few months interacting with such amazing women.

At a time when it seemed that I would be on my own, fending for myself in the middle of a hurricane that turned my world upside down, God placed two women back into my life to pull me through what would have been an otherwise unbearable semester. Whether they know it or not they are gifts from God. Had this opportunity not presented itself, I'm not sure how well I would have faced the next five months.

While I am still not completely sure how I feel about my leave of absence, I am seeing something that looks oddly like gratitude. I would give anything to be back in Mount Vernon, but the alternative that God has crafted for me is not too shabby at all.

xoxo,
jkd