To the Perfectionist

"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." -John Steinbeck

To the perfectionist,

I see you, struggling under a mountain of textbooks, chugging your third cup of coffee, running on three hours of sleep. I see you striving for that 4.0, going the extra mile, keeping a smile on your face as you do it all.

On the surface you are fantastic. You are successful with a list of accolades and achievements that surely got you into your choice of schools, but beneath the facade you are falling apart. Your perfectionistic ways have backed you into a corner, and now you are paralyzed by a fear of failure.

You have had the same hobbies since you were seven, because that was the last time you were able to enjoy a new activity without the primary goal of success. You cannot even entertain the thought of pursuing a degree that captures your whole heart, because the thought of mediocrity is enough to sabotage your passion.  And so you remain within the confines of your comfort zone where you know you will be successful. Administrative assistant? Adoring housewife? Those are undoubtedly positions you cannot botch.

You expect yourself to be flawless, but in striving for perfection you have become completely detached. You no longer pursue goals because they breed pleasure, passion, or pride. You pursue goals to check them off the list. You live for a sense of accomplishment, and you will do anything for achievement. You no longer compete for a love of the game, rather you compete because you know you will win.

In doing it all you have surrendered the joy that makes life so meaningful.

But no one asked you to do it all. No one asked you to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. No one asked you to hold society together with your smile.

Letting go of perfection means that you can strive for realistic excellence. Letting go of perfection frees you, because that failure that your perfectionism was terrified of is a vital part of greatness. Perfection is an unattainable illusion, an idea that clouds your expectations; but greatness is a journey, one that inevitably entails getting knocked down and making the deliberate decision to stand up once again.

Failure is not the abhorrent enemy you have made it out to be, (so much easier said than accepted, am I right?) rather failure is the best teacher there is. It allows us to learn from our mistakes, it allows us to grow. The truth is, no one really knows what they are doing. We're all trying to figure this life out day by day, and it is certainly naive to think that you are the only flawed one facing trials.

And so I tell you, do not let a fear of imperfection, a fear of failure hinder you in the pursuit of your dreams.  No, let the fear motivate you to become the best version of yourself. Do not spend the rest of your life pursuing goals that make you feel complacent; spend your life pursuing goals that make you feel fulfilled.

xoxo,
one of you